The day has come that nobody thought could happen. Not that most people cared, but still. I've been off of Facebook for two weeks. And I have no regrets and honestly, don't miss it.
The first week I was just fine. When I felt the urge to log on, I just did something else. I read my book, cleaned something, texted someone, I diverted my attention. Then that stuff got boring, and I had a few times of waiting in reception areas when it would have been nice to be able to browse everyone's lives. And then there was a day when I desperately wanted to escape my own reality. But I survived!
This past weekend, however, has been very eye opening for me. I've realized the amount of time I was spending on the website, and how many things I was not getting done. Before I left I hid 80% of my friends list and only had the people I genuinely was interested in on my news feed, but I found myself going to other people's pages anyway.
When I left on October 1st I said that I was going to write down names of people when I thought of them, and then when I reactivated my account, I would only keep family and the people on that list. Seriously though, it would have been a really short list if I had actually kept up with it. Instead I have been texting and emailing people, and that seems to work out just fine. I don't need to know what people had for breakfast, or what they're frustrated about, or where they're checking in to know about their lives. I don't need hourly, or daily, updates about their life, and they don't need them about mine. I have found that I need hourly and daily updates about my own life, and what I'm supposed to be doing in it.
I kept instagram on my phone, but I'll probably soon delete that too because I just find myself looking at pictures and reading comments from people I don't even know, just because I'm bored. Or rather, don't want to do something I need to do.
I also have been writing more on my blog but that was a huge disappointment! Without the sharing of the link on Facebook I am hardly getting any views, much less comments. But I'll keep writing on it because it's good training, and a good outlet. I just need to find more blogs to follow!
Honestly, I don't know how I found time for Facebook. I have had very few times when I've sat down and thought, "I have nothing to do. I could go on FB right now." In fact, it would only take me two fingers to count those times, in two weeks. That may sound contradictory to a previous paragraph, but there's a huge difference between "nothing to do" and "bored of doing stuff and just wanting to zone out."
I can't say that I've gotten more done, or that I've been a better parent, or been more active, or any of that, because I still can't seem to get things done that I want to get done. There aren't enough hours in the day, and I don't have the energy to get it all done! But I have little desire to get back into the social networking world because there has been a certain peace knowing that this is what God wants me to do. And it's really fun to get a text from someone; because it takes an extra effort to do that, rather than just commenting on a line that pops up in front of your face.
There's a time and a place for social networking. I am not against Facebook. I know the many benefits of it, and enjoyed it for a long time. But right now, in my life, it's not beneficial in my life.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Monday, October 14, 2013
Sunday, July 28, 2013
A Refuge from Anger
I've been really struggling with something, and I'm going to be straight up honest.
I have a big problem with anger.
I'm a screamer.
In the heat of the moment I'm totally justified; they've been "cleaning their room" for two hours, the table still hasn't been wiped off, I've asked four times for the hair stuff to be picked up off the bathroom floor, and countless other issues that have come up. In the moment, me screaming and yelling is perfectly logical and completely justified.
Afterward, however, I feel like a total monster. I'm mad that I was "made" to yell, I'm mad that I believed the lie that I couldn't control it, and I'm sad that my children are now crying and defeated instead of encouraged and trained.
And then, even later, I get mad when they start yelling at each other for little mishaps that in my mind seem little and silly but to them are just as huge as dishes put away incorrectly AGAIN is to me. Because it's not the actual act that triggers me, it's the fact that I am not taken seriously.
Today in church a statement was made that really hit me between the eyes. A couple sang a song from Patch the Pirate called "Lord Bless Our Home" and in the song it mentions their house being a refuge from the world. When I'm screaming or yelling, is my house a refuge? I thought of this verse,
Proverbs 29:1 "[It is] better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house."
Then that made me think of my own childhood. My friends always wanted to come to my house. My house was fun. My mom was a good cook. My house was cool! I loved being at my house! My mom would make nachos to eat while watching sports, my dad would tell corny jokes, and we were allowed to be loud and play (within reason). Even as a teenager I loved being at home, and my friends always wanted to come to our house. My mom once said she wanted her home to be the "hang out spot" because she didn't want her teenagers to be hanging out somewhere else. It was comforting to her to know where we were and what we were doing. And honestly, if a friend didn't like my mom, I didn't like that friend.
That made me think of something else (I did a lot of thinking today). Every Sunday as soon as my children come out of Junior Church they barrage me with questions of "Can she come over?" "Can I go to her house?" and it's very overwhelming. I haven't quite figured out how I want to handle all of that, so I usually just say no.
This morning I was a raging, screaming beast. I was tired, overwhelmed from a looooooong and exhausting week, and I stepped on a piece of breakfast casserole that was smooshy and really, really disgusting. I lost it. And I barely regained it before we got to church. This time when I got my children from Junior Church, they all wanted to go to someone else's house. That made me really sad. One of my daughters even said, "I don't care if I go to her house or her house, I just don't want to go to our house!" How heartbreaking is that?
So I'm going to try to make a drastic change in my life. I am going to try to make our house a refuge. Somewhere that my children want to be. And the first step to that is controlling my anger. Stop listening to the lie that they deserve it, or that they're making me angry, or that it's justified. It's not okay, it's not their fault, and it's not justified. It's sin. And it could potentially destroy my family.
Proverbs 31:26 "She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue [is] the law of kindness.
Pro 31:27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Pro 31:28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband [also], and he praiseth her.
I have a big problem with anger.
I'm a screamer.
In the heat of the moment I'm totally justified; they've been "cleaning their room" for two hours, the table still hasn't been wiped off, I've asked four times for the hair stuff to be picked up off the bathroom floor, and countless other issues that have come up. In the moment, me screaming and yelling is perfectly logical and completely justified.
Afterward, however, I feel like a total monster. I'm mad that I was "made" to yell, I'm mad that I believed the lie that I couldn't control it, and I'm sad that my children are now crying and defeated instead of encouraged and trained.
And then, even later, I get mad when they start yelling at each other for little mishaps that in my mind seem little and silly but to them are just as huge as dishes put away incorrectly AGAIN is to me. Because it's not the actual act that triggers me, it's the fact that I am not taken seriously.
Today in church a statement was made that really hit me between the eyes. A couple sang a song from Patch the Pirate called "Lord Bless Our Home" and in the song it mentions their house being a refuge from the world. When I'm screaming or yelling, is my house a refuge? I thought of this verse,
Proverbs 29:1 "[It is] better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house."
Then that made me think of my own childhood. My friends always wanted to come to my house. My house was fun. My mom was a good cook. My house was cool! I loved being at my house! My mom would make nachos to eat while watching sports, my dad would tell corny jokes, and we were allowed to be loud and play (within reason). Even as a teenager I loved being at home, and my friends always wanted to come to our house. My mom once said she wanted her home to be the "hang out spot" because she didn't want her teenagers to be hanging out somewhere else. It was comforting to her to know where we were and what we were doing. And honestly, if a friend didn't like my mom, I didn't like that friend.
That made me think of something else (I did a lot of thinking today). Every Sunday as soon as my children come out of Junior Church they barrage me with questions of "Can she come over?" "Can I go to her house?" and it's very overwhelming. I haven't quite figured out how I want to handle all of that, so I usually just say no.
This morning I was a raging, screaming beast. I was tired, overwhelmed from a looooooong and exhausting week, and I stepped on a piece of breakfast casserole that was smooshy and really, really disgusting. I lost it. And I barely regained it before we got to church. This time when I got my children from Junior Church, they all wanted to go to someone else's house. That made me really sad. One of my daughters even said, "I don't care if I go to her house or her house, I just don't want to go to our house!" How heartbreaking is that?
So I'm going to try to make a drastic change in my life. I am going to try to make our house a refuge. Somewhere that my children want to be. And the first step to that is controlling my anger. Stop listening to the lie that they deserve it, or that they're making me angry, or that it's justified. It's not okay, it's not their fault, and it's not justified. It's sin. And it could potentially destroy my family.
Proverbs 31:26 "She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue [is] the law of kindness.
Pro 31:27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Pro 31:28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband [also], and he praiseth her.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Gluten Free is Pain Free!
I posted a month or so ago about our new GF diet plan. It's going well so far and it hasn't taken a whole lot of adjustment. Since we're living with my in-laws who also eat gluten free, I've had a lot of help knowing what to buy, and where to buy it! I've made quite a few dumb purchases and I unknowingly let an amazing deal slip through my fingers, but you live and learn, right?
Since we're now gluten free that eliminated pretty much all of my standard lunch meals. Since I home-school three grades plus have two more that are not schooled yet, by lunch-time I don't have a lot of brain power left over for meal ideas. Also, I have some picky eaters who would eat mac and cheese and hotdogs for the rest of their life is they were allowed to. So it has been more trial and error in finding things that they will eat that will fit our new diet.
The first thing I've learned is that gluten free mac and cheese with real cheese sauce is not only very tasty, but doesn't take much longer than the box stuff. And I feel a lot better feeding it to my children! I've also learned that you cook rice noodles like you cook rice; boil the water, put the noodles in, turn off the heat and let them soak. I'm glad I found that trick because we were getting tired of soggy, mushy noodles!
Also, I've found out that kids aren't as picky as you think they might be when you tell them "This is lunch, you eat it, or you don't eat until dinner." After one or two times of that they will eat just about anything. These are some meals we've tried:
Tuna or grilled cheese on gluten-free bread (Udi's is the best we've tried so far)
Beanie weanies with carrots
Gluten free mac and cheese
Gluten free chicken nuggets (pricey but good for every once in a while when you need fast and easy)
-I tried to make my own gluten free nuggets but that was a disaster.
Quinoa Pizza Bites
Stroganoff with gluten free noodles
Quesadillas with corn tortillas
Cheesy rice and broccoli (this was a huge hit!)
Sausage and Potato Hash
Chili Fries
Chili Mac and Cheese (I just added Rotel to mac and cheese)
I'm sure most of these seem pretty normal to most people but for someone that is literally stepping outside the box, this was way out of my lunch comfort zone! I'm pretty proud of myself, and I've found that if I know I'm going to need to spend 20 minutes preparing lunch, it's not so daunting when I actually do. Especially when I know that I'm feeding my children healthy meals and not junk.
This lunch adventure has also made me more creative with breakfast meals, and I've stepped beyond eggs and bacon, cereal, and oatmeal. We've had yogurt, granola, and fruit; apple pancake bake with gluten free pancake mix; sausage and egg quiche; and when I'm done making this blog post I'm going to attempt gluten free zucchini bread for tomorrow.
We have not figured out how to eat gluten free when we're out and still satisfy the kids. It's really hard to resist my two year old saying "Kickin Nuggets and fwench fwies"! But that is my next step in this diet process. We do like Taco Mayo because they have corn tortillas and chips. I also found a website that lists restaurants that have GF menus, so I just need to remember to print it out and keep it in the car!
So far I am pleasantly surprised at how easy it has been to switch to gluten free and it hasn't raised our grocery bill too much because our focus is to move away from gluten, not replace it. So while we still eat gluten free bread, we don't eat nearly as much as we did regular bread. And we still eat noodles, but only sparingly.
Now on to the next diet change, no sugar!!
Since we're now gluten free that eliminated pretty much all of my standard lunch meals. Since I home-school three grades plus have two more that are not schooled yet, by lunch-time I don't have a lot of brain power left over for meal ideas. Also, I have some picky eaters who would eat mac and cheese and hotdogs for the rest of their life is they were allowed to. So it has been more trial and error in finding things that they will eat that will fit our new diet.
The first thing I've learned is that gluten free mac and cheese with real cheese sauce is not only very tasty, but doesn't take much longer than the box stuff. And I feel a lot better feeding it to my children! I've also learned that you cook rice noodles like you cook rice; boil the water, put the noodles in, turn off the heat and let them soak. I'm glad I found that trick because we were getting tired of soggy, mushy noodles!
Also, I've found out that kids aren't as picky as you think they might be when you tell them "This is lunch, you eat it, or you don't eat until dinner." After one or two times of that they will eat just about anything. These are some meals we've tried:
Tuna or grilled cheese on gluten-free bread (Udi's is the best we've tried so far)
Beanie weanies with carrots
Gluten free mac and cheese
Gluten free chicken nuggets (pricey but good for every once in a while when you need fast and easy)
-I tried to make my own gluten free nuggets but that was a disaster.
Quinoa Pizza Bites
Stroganoff with gluten free noodles
Quesadillas with corn tortillas
Cheesy rice and broccoli (this was a huge hit!)
Sausage and Potato Hash
Chili Fries
Chili Mac and Cheese (I just added Rotel to mac and cheese)
I'm sure most of these seem pretty normal to most people but for someone that is literally stepping outside the box, this was way out of my lunch comfort zone! I'm pretty proud of myself, and I've found that if I know I'm going to need to spend 20 minutes preparing lunch, it's not so daunting when I actually do. Especially when I know that I'm feeding my children healthy meals and not junk.
This lunch adventure has also made me more creative with breakfast meals, and I've stepped beyond eggs and bacon, cereal, and oatmeal. We've had yogurt, granola, and fruit; apple pancake bake with gluten free pancake mix; sausage and egg quiche; and when I'm done making this blog post I'm going to attempt gluten free zucchini bread for tomorrow.
We have not figured out how to eat gluten free when we're out and still satisfy the kids. It's really hard to resist my two year old saying "Kickin Nuggets and fwench fwies"! But that is my next step in this diet process. We do like Taco Mayo because they have corn tortillas and chips. I also found a website that lists restaurants that have GF menus, so I just need to remember to print it out and keep it in the car!
So far I am pleasantly surprised at how easy it has been to switch to gluten free and it hasn't raised our grocery bill too much because our focus is to move away from gluten, not replace it. So while we still eat gluten free bread, we don't eat nearly as much as we did regular bread. And we still eat noodles, but only sparingly.
Now on to the next diet change, no sugar!!
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Our Journey with Noah
Our son Noah is 10 years old and as most of you know, I've been convinced he has Asperger's Syndrome for about 5 years. It was difficult coming to that conclusion and I won't give you the details of how we came to that, but I still believe that he has that condition. I probably will never be convinced otherwise.
Lately we've been having problems with his behavior. He is fighting more, he gets angry more, and his tics are getting worse. He used to just sniff or clear his throat, lately he has started squishing up his face, rolling his eyes, and taking quick breaths kind of like an asthmatic problem.
We've had a lot of changes in our family lately and things are still changing, I don't know when things will settle down for us, and I know that has a lot of effects on the children and especially Noah. Stress can make all of these issues worse, but it's gotten to the point where my husband and I don't feel like we can handle it on our own.
We looked into getting him and official AS diagnosis so he could get behavioral training, occupational therapy, and some other options that are out there when you have a diagnosis. I met with a clinical psychologist for an hour and went over issues we have with Noah and things we've dealt with him about.
Afterward he told me he didn't think Noah had AS (he said 30-40% chance) but he suspected gifted-ness and possibly Tourrette's. We decided not to go back to him when he wanted to meet with Noah for 2 hours by himself. Maybe I'm over-protective but that really bothered me. I also had some disturbing dreams and I think God was warning me.
This week he met with Bro. Hays who is a Biblical Counselor at my Brother-in-Law Rick Carter's church. I was there during the meeting and he just got to know Noah and find out what kind of issues he was having. Bro. Hays said that we needed to set up some goals for him, and make sure he had something to look forward to. He also suggested the possibility of Noah having Tourrette's.
I was looking online and there are some more natural ways to help Noah deal with the tics. We're going to start him on a grown-up multi-vitamin that has 300-500% B-6 and B-12, compared to the children's multi we were giving him that had 100%. A lot of websites also suggested cutting out sugar, caffeine, and white bread. We will be discussing that more drastic change in the future.
Some other things we're looking into is getting him into taekwando since it is known for structure, discipline, and also has goals that they achieve rather quickly. He also recently finished a book in Light Brigade, which is a children's church program similar to AWANA or King's Kids.
I just wanted to share these issues we're having and maybe someone else is struggling with these things with their own kid. And also maybe spread some awareness or understanding if you come across a kid who deals with these issues.
Lately we've been having problems with his behavior. He is fighting more, he gets angry more, and his tics are getting worse. He used to just sniff or clear his throat, lately he has started squishing up his face, rolling his eyes, and taking quick breaths kind of like an asthmatic problem.
We've had a lot of changes in our family lately and things are still changing, I don't know when things will settle down for us, and I know that has a lot of effects on the children and especially Noah. Stress can make all of these issues worse, but it's gotten to the point where my husband and I don't feel like we can handle it on our own.
We looked into getting him and official AS diagnosis so he could get behavioral training, occupational therapy, and some other options that are out there when you have a diagnosis. I met with a clinical psychologist for an hour and went over issues we have with Noah and things we've dealt with him about.
Afterward he told me he didn't think Noah had AS (he said 30-40% chance) but he suspected gifted-ness and possibly Tourrette's. We decided not to go back to him when he wanted to meet with Noah for 2 hours by himself. Maybe I'm over-protective but that really bothered me. I also had some disturbing dreams and I think God was warning me.
This week he met with Bro. Hays who is a Biblical Counselor at my Brother-in-Law Rick Carter's church. I was there during the meeting and he just got to know Noah and find out what kind of issues he was having. Bro. Hays said that we needed to set up some goals for him, and make sure he had something to look forward to. He also suggested the possibility of Noah having Tourrette's.
I was looking online and there are some more natural ways to help Noah deal with the tics. We're going to start him on a grown-up multi-vitamin that has 300-500% B-6 and B-12, compared to the children's multi we were giving him that had 100%. A lot of websites also suggested cutting out sugar, caffeine, and white bread. We will be discussing that more drastic change in the future.
Some other things we're looking into is getting him into taekwando since it is known for structure, discipline, and also has goals that they achieve rather quickly. He also recently finished a book in Light Brigade, which is a children's church program similar to AWANA or King's Kids.
I just wanted to share these issues we're having and maybe someone else is struggling with these things with their own kid. And also maybe spread some awareness or understanding if you come across a kid who deals with these issues.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Exciting December
We were able to go to my parents' house for two weeks in Iowa. I'm so thankful we were able to go! We had hoped to go in the Summer but it just never worked out, especially since we went to North Dakota for my Grandma's funeral in July.
Before we left I looked up the 10-day forecast to see if we should take our snow stuff or not and only one day had a "slight chance" of flurries, so we decided not to take it all. Well that was a big mistake! We got there on a Saturday and that Wednesday we were hit with a blizzard and my parents ended up getting several inches of snow. Not only that, the temperature never got above freezing the whole time we were there and it snowed two more times.
But thankfully my parents still had some snow things left over from when we were kids and since it was so cold, the kids didn't want to stay out too long anyway. Caleb went out the first day and pushed them on their sleds, and I went out the next day. We had a blast sledding, throwing snowballs, and we played snow tackle. We were exhausted by the time we went inside, though. And very grateful for the fireplace!
We weren't able to go to the zoo with my sister and her boys, but my mom did take the kids to the IMAX theater twice, and they went to the new aquarium, the jungle, desert, and the new pavilion. She has a lot of pictures of this, I just haven't gotten any copies yet! (hint, hint)
Other highlights of our trip were spending a day at my sister's house, seeing my younger brother and sister, surprising the kids with gifts on Christmas morning that they were NOT expecting, getting my hair trimmed and colored, and spending time with my parents. We had a good visit and I'm very thankful we were able to go! But it would be nice to go again this year.
Before we left I looked up the 10-day forecast to see if we should take our snow stuff or not and only one day had a "slight chance" of flurries, so we decided not to take it all. Well that was a big mistake! We got there on a Saturday and that Wednesday we were hit with a blizzard and my parents ended up getting several inches of snow. Not only that, the temperature never got above freezing the whole time we were there and it snowed two more times.
But thankfully my parents still had some snow things left over from when we were kids and since it was so cold, the kids didn't want to stay out too long anyway. Caleb went out the first day and pushed them on their sleds, and I went out the next day. We had a blast sledding, throwing snowballs, and we played snow tackle. We were exhausted by the time we went inside, though. And very grateful for the fireplace!
We weren't able to go to the zoo with my sister and her boys, but my mom did take the kids to the IMAX theater twice, and they went to the new aquarium, the jungle, desert, and the new pavilion. She has a lot of pictures of this, I just haven't gotten any copies yet! (hint, hint)
Other highlights of our trip were spending a day at my sister's house, seeing my younger brother and sister, surprising the kids with gifts on Christmas morning that they were NOT expecting, getting my hair trimmed and colored, and spending time with my parents. We had a good visit and I'm very thankful we were able to go! But it would be nice to go again this year.
Friday, November 9, 2012
Our New Schedule
We are on our 8th week of homeschooling and by all accounts and purposes, it's going great. Everyone is still enjoying school and are still motivated. There's a little bit of frustration over new topics as we're starting to move past reviewing the last year, but overall it's going smoothly.
But we were having this horrible problem of a chaotic morning. It all starts because I am a night owl. I love the quietness of the nighttime, and I would go to bed after midnight every night if it didn't affect the next day. But it does, and we weren't waking up until almost 9am every morning. Which meant breakfast was close to 10am, school didn't get started until around 11am, and we weren't ready for lunch until 2pm. Which messed up nap-time, afternoon subjects, snack time, cartoons, and pushed dinner and even bedtime later, which then started the whole mess over again. That may work for some people, but I'm a traditionalist and I think lunch should be at noon, so it wasn't working.
Because of all of this, I decided to get serious and start a new schedule. I made a list of everything that needed to get done during the day, and divided it into "morning", "afternoon", and "evening" sections. Most of these things are pretty simple like meals, chores, naps, etc, usually happen around the same time everyday. Then I figured out how long each of these things should take, and kind of worked around set times like bedtimes, lunch (of course at 12pm), and favorite cartoons. Our kids love Wild Kratts and it's really the only cartoon they HAVE to watch everyday, so I wanted to make sure they were able to watch it.
I wanted to have set times for each subject because I found myself having a pile of workbooks to check, and by the time I checked something, they were already halfway done with another subject, and we were going back and forth from subject to subject, and I really didn't feel like they were grasping the concepts, they were just getting the work done. So with set subjects for set amount of times, they don't have to rush and make mistakes, and there's plenty of time to check work and fix mistakes that do happen. There's also not the competition of "I got done before you did!" and "What subject are you on? I only have one left." that breeds discontent and causes others to hurry and not concentrate.
So here is our daily schedule:
Carter Family Schedule
7:30- Wake up, Get Dressed, Read your Bible, Start Chores
8:00- Eat Breakfast, Have Family Devotions
8:45- Clean up breakfast, Finish chores
9:30-10- Handwriting
10-10:30- English
10:30-11- Math
11-11:30- Reading
11:30-12- Spelling
12:00- Lunch
1-2:30 Rest time
2:30- snack
2:30-4- Afternoon Session
Monday-Library
Tuesday- Art
Wednesday- Music
Thursday- Science
Friday- History
4-5:30- Free Time
6:00- Dinner
8:30- Anna and Elsa bedtime
8:45- Kayla and Lela bedtime
9:00- Noah bedtime
10:30- Mom and Dad bedtime
There are a few times on there can be moved or changed, depending on what we have going on (or what went on the night before), but for the most part, if we stick with this schedule, we will get everything done.
But we were having this horrible problem of a chaotic morning. It all starts because I am a night owl. I love the quietness of the nighttime, and I would go to bed after midnight every night if it didn't affect the next day. But it does, and we weren't waking up until almost 9am every morning. Which meant breakfast was close to 10am, school didn't get started until around 11am, and we weren't ready for lunch until 2pm. Which messed up nap-time, afternoon subjects, snack time, cartoons, and pushed dinner and even bedtime later, which then started the whole mess over again. That may work for some people, but I'm a traditionalist and I think lunch should be at noon, so it wasn't working.
Because of all of this, I decided to get serious and start a new schedule. I made a list of everything that needed to get done during the day, and divided it into "morning", "afternoon", and "evening" sections. Most of these things are pretty simple like meals, chores, naps, etc, usually happen around the same time everyday. Then I figured out how long each of these things should take, and kind of worked around set times like bedtimes, lunch (of course at 12pm), and favorite cartoons. Our kids love Wild Kratts and it's really the only cartoon they HAVE to watch everyday, so I wanted to make sure they were able to watch it.
I wanted to have set times for each subject because I found myself having a pile of workbooks to check, and by the time I checked something, they were already halfway done with another subject, and we were going back and forth from subject to subject, and I really didn't feel like they were grasping the concepts, they were just getting the work done. So with set subjects for set amount of times, they don't have to rush and make mistakes, and there's plenty of time to check work and fix mistakes that do happen. There's also not the competition of "I got done before you did!" and "What subject are you on? I only have one left." that breeds discontent and causes others to hurry and not concentrate.
So here is our daily schedule:
Carter Family Schedule
7:30- Wake up, Get Dressed, Read your Bible, Start Chores
8:00- Eat Breakfast, Have Family Devotions
8:45- Clean up breakfast, Finish chores
9:30-10- Handwriting
10-10:30- English
10:30-11- Math
11-11:30- Reading
11:30-12- Spelling
12:00- Lunch
1-2:30 Rest time
2:30- snack
2:30-4- Afternoon Session
Monday-Library
Tuesday- Art
Wednesday- Music
Thursday- Science
Friday- History
4-5:30- Free Time
6:00- Dinner
8:30- Anna and Elsa bedtime
8:45- Kayla and Lela bedtime
9:00- Noah bedtime
10:30- Mom and Dad bedtime
There are a few times on there can be moved or changed, depending on what we have going on (or what went on the night before), but for the most part, if we stick with this schedule, we will get everything done.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Big Changes!
Almost a year ago my husband came to me and said he thought God was calling him to be a Pastor. I was less than thrilled. I was also skeptical. I admit, I was growing tired of living in a fifth wheel, traveling, and not having a home. But taking a church? That was a little bit much for me.
We didn't talk about it much after that, he would just casually mention it every once in a while. I told him I would follow him wherever he decided to go, but I didn't feel like God wanted me to be a Pastor's Wife! I didn't feel properly equipped.
When we went to Mississippi everything went wrong. Caleb kept getting hurt or sick, our children were fighting like crazy, Noah has started to have problems with sharing a room with his sisters, and I started to feel claustrophobic living in this trailer.
So I started praying about it, and God started to speak to my heart and He showed me a lot of things that I would like to share in a later blog; too much for right now!
In January we visited a church near where we were working in Mississippi and the Pastor preached on serving God and one of his main points was that we need more men to step up and be a Pastor. I just KNEW God was talking to my husband. And I couldn't deny God's working power, so that night I quietly told God that if Caleb talked to me about it again, I would be open and willing to follow him.
Well, he did, and I did, and we started praying that God would work things out, and that He would give us clear direction in leaving NTCP, USA and looking for a church to Pastor. Our burden was for small churches that would close if they didn't get a Pastor. We didn't want a cushy Pastor's job where we could relax. We wanted to serve and be used by the Lord.
When we came home the end of February we immediately took our Pastor (Caleb's Dad) and wife our for dinner. We told them that we wanted to look for a church to Pastor and Mom started laughing and said "I knew God wanted you to do that last time you were here!" That confirmed it in our hearts, that this was what God wanted. We had to go through a process of speaking to people in authoritative positions over us, and Caleb's knee injury gave us a good excuse to be home for a month or so, and not be doing any work. Everyone we talked to was on board and excited, and we just kept getting more and more excited! When we told our kids, it was like we were telling them we were going to Disney World! Kayla said "I've always wanted to be a Pastor's Kid!!"
We started praying about where God would want us, and Caleb and his Dad called different men to see if they knew of a church that needed a Pastor. We felt like God wanted us to stay in the Midwest, but we weren't limiting ourselves to that.
At the beginning of April a Pastor friend gave Caleb a number of a church in Missouri that needed a Pastor. He called, and they asked us to come candidate that Sunday! So we drove out there for the weekend and it was not what we expected. The church was extremely friendly but it didn't seem like the "struggling church" we had pictured in our mind. Plus it seemed like everyone was really eager to vote us in and it scared me. Was this too fast? Do we want to take the first church we candidate? Are we sure this is what God wants? We went home very unsure of what God wanted. They were going to vote that weekend, one week from when we had first heard of the church.
In my heart, I was hoping they would vote no because it was too fast, and I was too unsure. They ended up voting to have us come back for another weekend, so we did. The second weekend we went was completely different, in my heart. A few families were more open, and they shared with us some struggles the church is going through. The church decided to have us stay through Wednesday with preaching every night, and we had meals with the members before service.
I had a few questions, and some concerns, that I was praying God would settle in my heart. Some of them are personal, but some of them I might share in a later blog. And some of them, I didn't even know I had, but once it was discussed, I felt a huge burden lift. I'll just tell you that after Tuesday night, I went to bed knowing 100% that this church was where God wanted us, and I went to bed excited and overflowing with God's love and peace for where He was leading our family!
Wednesday night I was a ball of nerves, the church was going to vote on whether or not to call us. I could barely eat dinner, and I was having a hard time talking to anybody. It was like the huge elephant in the room that nobody wanted to discuss. The service was amazing and Caleb preached an awesome message, finalizing his Facing and Defeating Your Giants series he did that week. We left the auditorium and they had their meeting, and when they called us back in, I thought I was going to faint!
One of the things we were praying for was that we would get voted in 90% or more. We had several people tell us that number was impossible, that maybe we should consider a lower number. Caleb said if the vote was yes with a smaller number, we would still consider, but he really wanted that number. Well guess what, we got 92%! God did more than we asked, just to prove that He can!
Our last Sunday at Lighthouse Baptist Church in Mustang, OK is June 10th, and the next day we are going to officially move to Mound Baptist Church near Oldfield, MO. It's in the middle of nowhere, in beautiful Ozark, dairy country. I will give more details later.
Never doubt what God wants you to do. And don't be afraid to ask for confirmation either. God doesn't want us stumbling through life, unsure of what He wants, trying one thing after another. He is willing to give us perfect peace and rest, and He won't ask you to do something He won't equip you to do!
We didn't talk about it much after that, he would just casually mention it every once in a while. I told him I would follow him wherever he decided to go, but I didn't feel like God wanted me to be a Pastor's Wife! I didn't feel properly equipped.
When we went to Mississippi everything went wrong. Caleb kept getting hurt or sick, our children were fighting like crazy, Noah has started to have problems with sharing a room with his sisters, and I started to feel claustrophobic living in this trailer.
So I started praying about it, and God started to speak to my heart and He showed me a lot of things that I would like to share in a later blog; too much for right now!
In January we visited a church near where we were working in Mississippi and the Pastor preached on serving God and one of his main points was that we need more men to step up and be a Pastor. I just KNEW God was talking to my husband. And I couldn't deny God's working power, so that night I quietly told God that if Caleb talked to me about it again, I would be open and willing to follow him.
Well, he did, and I did, and we started praying that God would work things out, and that He would give us clear direction in leaving NTCP, USA and looking for a church to Pastor. Our burden was for small churches that would close if they didn't get a Pastor. We didn't want a cushy Pastor's job where we could relax. We wanted to serve and be used by the Lord.
When we came home the end of February we immediately took our Pastor (Caleb's Dad) and wife our for dinner. We told them that we wanted to look for a church to Pastor and Mom started laughing and said "I knew God wanted you to do that last time you were here!" That confirmed it in our hearts, that this was what God wanted. We had to go through a process of speaking to people in authoritative positions over us, and Caleb's knee injury gave us a good excuse to be home for a month or so, and not be doing any work. Everyone we talked to was on board and excited, and we just kept getting more and more excited! When we told our kids, it was like we were telling them we were going to Disney World! Kayla said "I've always wanted to be a Pastor's Kid!!"
We started praying about where God would want us, and Caleb and his Dad called different men to see if they knew of a church that needed a Pastor. We felt like God wanted us to stay in the Midwest, but we weren't limiting ourselves to that.
At the beginning of April a Pastor friend gave Caleb a number of a church in Missouri that needed a Pastor. He called, and they asked us to come candidate that Sunday! So we drove out there for the weekend and it was not what we expected. The church was extremely friendly but it didn't seem like the "struggling church" we had pictured in our mind. Plus it seemed like everyone was really eager to vote us in and it scared me. Was this too fast? Do we want to take the first church we candidate? Are we sure this is what God wants? We went home very unsure of what God wanted. They were going to vote that weekend, one week from when we had first heard of the church.
In my heart, I was hoping they would vote no because it was too fast, and I was too unsure. They ended up voting to have us come back for another weekend, so we did. The second weekend we went was completely different, in my heart. A few families were more open, and they shared with us some struggles the church is going through. The church decided to have us stay through Wednesday with preaching every night, and we had meals with the members before service.
I had a few questions, and some concerns, that I was praying God would settle in my heart. Some of them are personal, but some of them I might share in a later blog. And some of them, I didn't even know I had, but once it was discussed, I felt a huge burden lift. I'll just tell you that after Tuesday night, I went to bed knowing 100% that this church was where God wanted us, and I went to bed excited and overflowing with God's love and peace for where He was leading our family!
Wednesday night I was a ball of nerves, the church was going to vote on whether or not to call us. I could barely eat dinner, and I was having a hard time talking to anybody. It was like the huge elephant in the room that nobody wanted to discuss. The service was amazing and Caleb preached an awesome message, finalizing his Facing and Defeating Your Giants series he did that week. We left the auditorium and they had their meeting, and when they called us back in, I thought I was going to faint!
One of the things we were praying for was that we would get voted in 90% or more. We had several people tell us that number was impossible, that maybe we should consider a lower number. Caleb said if the vote was yes with a smaller number, we would still consider, but he really wanted that number. Well guess what, we got 92%! God did more than we asked, just to prove that He can!
Our last Sunday at Lighthouse Baptist Church in Mustang, OK is June 10th, and the next day we are going to officially move to Mound Baptist Church near Oldfield, MO. It's in the middle of nowhere, in beautiful Ozark, dairy country. I will give more details later.
Never doubt what God wants you to do. And don't be afraid to ask for confirmation either. God doesn't want us stumbling through life, unsure of what He wants, trying one thing after another. He is willing to give us perfect peace and rest, and He won't ask you to do something He won't equip you to do!
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Fear of Homeschooling
This post in inspired by some friends of mine, but definitely not aimed at them or a rant about them. I just want to make that clear! I think this is something that most people think, but not many actually say out loud. I just wanted to further expand my thoughts on the subject.
I've been homeschooling for 3 years now and I cannot tell you how many times I've heard people say they could never do it, or they are terrified of homeschooling. It's a reasonable fear! Our society teaches us that being a teacher is a hard job, that only the best can do it, and you have to go to school for years to become certified. Don't get me wrong, I know that teachers work hard and it isn't easy. But comparing a public school teacher to a homeschool mom is a little lopsided!
First of all, when you home-school you are teaching your own children. This is what you were created to do. You teach your children all kinds of things. You taught them how to walk, how to clap their hands, how to eat with a fork, how to use the toilet, how to pick up their clothes from the floor (although most children are still perfecting that art). You didn't have a chalkboard with a syllabus and a half hour a day teaching your one year old how to walk. You just looked for times when he was interested, and you encouraged him to keep trying. Home-schooling is basically the same way. Finding moments in the day when you can get your child's attention trained on some school facts. You do this at meal times when you teach them how to chew with their mouths closed. You didn't have to get a certificate to be qualified to teach them how to make their bed. You used your own life experience.
When you home-school you do not have to make up your own curricula, lesson plans, and research topics to teach your children. You can buy complete curriculum sets that literally tell you what to say, what to read, what to have your child do, and what you will need for the next day. You can be as involved or uninvolved in planning the school as you want. We use a rather involved curriculum and I don't have any prep work besides making sure they have basic school supplies. Any questions they have are addressed in the Teacher's Manuals. And by the way, "real" school teachers have those manuals as well. Most teachers do not make up their own school work to teach.
The biggest struggle for most home-school moms is not WHAT to teach, or HOW to teach it, but WHEN to teach it. When you're home and you see dishes in the sink, projects that need done, a nice day outside, or family that needs help, it's very hard to make yourself sit down and do school. And frankly, sometimes you just want to mess around on the computer or read a book. The beauty of home-school is that you can do that sometimes, but it really can be a struggle to actually get school work done. Some do better with a classroom setting, some like their kids in a central part of the house so they can do housework around them, some like to use library rooms for the majority of the work, and some incorporate the outside and different activities into school. And you know what? All of those things work! Because it's home-school, it's not public school. You don't have to sit at a desk from 8:30-3pm working on work. You can do a few hours in the morning, and some in the afternoon. You can take Mondays off. You can work in the evenings.
Home-schooling is a little frightening. It's different, there's a lot to sort through to find what works for you, and there are a lot of opinions on the subject. But the fear of not knowing enough, or not being able to teach your kids the right things should not be a fear. I read somewhere that 80% of 4th graders polled in the public schools could not recognize Abraham Lincoln. I've read that as many as 15% of High School graduates (not just Public School, but all types of schools) cannot read past a 2nd grade level. I'm not trying to speak bad about other types of schooling because every family has to decide what is right for their children. But what I am trying to say is that you can't do much worse than that! Especially if you have the help of a curricula that will help you teach your children what they need to know.
Don't be afraid, you won't be alone.
I've been homeschooling for 3 years now and I cannot tell you how many times I've heard people say they could never do it, or they are terrified of homeschooling. It's a reasonable fear! Our society teaches us that being a teacher is a hard job, that only the best can do it, and you have to go to school for years to become certified. Don't get me wrong, I know that teachers work hard and it isn't easy. But comparing a public school teacher to a homeschool mom is a little lopsided!
First of all, when you home-school you are teaching your own children. This is what you were created to do. You teach your children all kinds of things. You taught them how to walk, how to clap their hands, how to eat with a fork, how to use the toilet, how to pick up their clothes from the floor (although most children are still perfecting that art). You didn't have a chalkboard with a syllabus and a half hour a day teaching your one year old how to walk. You just looked for times when he was interested, and you encouraged him to keep trying. Home-schooling is basically the same way. Finding moments in the day when you can get your child's attention trained on some school facts. You do this at meal times when you teach them how to chew with their mouths closed. You didn't have to get a certificate to be qualified to teach them how to make their bed. You used your own life experience.
When you home-school you do not have to make up your own curricula, lesson plans, and research topics to teach your children. You can buy complete curriculum sets that literally tell you what to say, what to read, what to have your child do, and what you will need for the next day. You can be as involved or uninvolved in planning the school as you want. We use a rather involved curriculum and I don't have any prep work besides making sure they have basic school supplies. Any questions they have are addressed in the Teacher's Manuals. And by the way, "real" school teachers have those manuals as well. Most teachers do not make up their own school work to teach.
The biggest struggle for most home-school moms is not WHAT to teach, or HOW to teach it, but WHEN to teach it. When you're home and you see dishes in the sink, projects that need done, a nice day outside, or family that needs help, it's very hard to make yourself sit down and do school. And frankly, sometimes you just want to mess around on the computer or read a book. The beauty of home-school is that you can do that sometimes, but it really can be a struggle to actually get school work done. Some do better with a classroom setting, some like their kids in a central part of the house so they can do housework around them, some like to use library rooms for the majority of the work, and some incorporate the outside and different activities into school. And you know what? All of those things work! Because it's home-school, it's not public school. You don't have to sit at a desk from 8:30-3pm working on work. You can do a few hours in the morning, and some in the afternoon. You can take Mondays off. You can work in the evenings.
Home-schooling is a little frightening. It's different, there's a lot to sort through to find what works for you, and there are a lot of opinions on the subject. But the fear of not knowing enough, or not being able to teach your kids the right things should not be a fear. I read somewhere that 80% of 4th graders polled in the public schools could not recognize Abraham Lincoln. I've read that as many as 15% of High School graduates (not just Public School, but all types of schools) cannot read past a 2nd grade level. I'm not trying to speak bad about other types of schooling because every family has to decide what is right for their children. But what I am trying to say is that you can't do much worse than that! Especially if you have the help of a curricula that will help you teach your children what they need to know.
Don't be afraid, you won't be alone.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Points System
For about 3 years now our kids have had specific daily chores to do, and at each birthday another chore would be added to their list. They have one chore for each year old they are. They've always been fairly good at getting their chores done in a timely manner, with a few reminders and redos. But since the older kids are getting older, we wanted to teach them responsibility with money, saving, etc. We've always taught them to tithe with birthday money and we involve them in offerings by giving them change to put in, but we wanted to step it up a notch!
This is when I came up with the points system. It's quite simple! They get points (in increments of 5) when they do extra chores, or have exceptionally good behavior. Every other Saturday they are allowed to use their points to "buy" prizes out of the prize bag.
This prize bag has things that we collect when we go to dollar stores, walk down clearance aisles, and even things we find at garage sales that are in good condition. We have nail polish, notebooks, cute pens, toys, stuffed animals, small games, etc. We keep track of the points on our dry-erase board in the kitchen.
So on Saturday nights we pull out the prize bag and according to the amount of points they have, they are allowed to buy prizes. We try to do it early enough in the evening that they can play with or use the things they buy. We go in the order of who has the most points gets to go first, and go down the line.
This system has really improved morale around here. They don't get points for doing their daily chores because those are expected of them. They get points for changing a diaper, washing the dishes when it isn't their turn, getting the clothes out of the dryer, fetching something for a parent, you get the idea. We also give points for good scores on test, and other school accomplishments. They also get points for Bible verses memorized.
There are a few exceptions. If they ask how many points they'll get, they have to do the assignment and not get points. And if they earn points and constantly remind us/bug us about giving them their points the said points are diminished or eliminated.
Since we're usually pretty tight with our money, and kids lose money all the time, this system has seemed to work really well. I hope it can give you an idea of how to reward your children for working without breaking the bank!
This is when I came up with the points system. It's quite simple! They get points (in increments of 5) when they do extra chores, or have exceptionally good behavior. Every other Saturday they are allowed to use their points to "buy" prizes out of the prize bag.
This prize bag has things that we collect when we go to dollar stores, walk down clearance aisles, and even things we find at garage sales that are in good condition. We have nail polish, notebooks, cute pens, toys, stuffed animals, small games, etc. We keep track of the points on our dry-erase board in the kitchen.
So on Saturday nights we pull out the prize bag and according to the amount of points they have, they are allowed to buy prizes. We try to do it early enough in the evening that they can play with or use the things they buy. We go in the order of who has the most points gets to go first, and go down the line.
This system has really improved morale around here. They don't get points for doing their daily chores because those are expected of them. They get points for changing a diaper, washing the dishes when it isn't their turn, getting the clothes out of the dryer, fetching something for a parent, you get the idea. We also give points for good scores on test, and other school accomplishments. They also get points for Bible verses memorized.
There are a few exceptions. If they ask how many points they'll get, they have to do the assignment and not get points. And if they earn points and constantly remind us/bug us about giving them their points the said points are diminished or eliminated.
Since we're usually pretty tight with our money, and kids lose money all the time, this system has seemed to work really well. I hope it can give you an idea of how to reward your children for working without breaking the bank!
Monday, November 28, 2011
What happened to my baby?
It seems like Elsa (9 months) went from being a little baby to being an almost-toddler overnight. She was this little baby that only wanted mommy and loved to be tickled. Now she crawls everywhere, throws tantrums, prefers daddy (unless she's hungry) and wants to bounce. She's still little and I know she's still a baby but she just changed so much in the last few months, it's amazing.
Last week I bought 10 jars of baby food to try out, see what she likes. Now I have to force her to eat the baby food because I paid good money for it, before I'll let her eat what she really wants: whatever we're eating. We have discovered she loves rice and noodles especially.
She also now has 7 teeth. 7! That's almost one per month. And I can see a little molar start to push its way out in the back, too. But because of those teeth she bites constantly. And boy does it hurt.
*sigh* My little baby is growing up, too quickly as always. At least she still likes to nurse, I will ho
ld onto that as long as I can. Why do they have to grow up so fast?
Last week I bought 10 jars of baby food to try out, see what she likes. Now I have to force her to eat the baby food because I paid good money for it, before I'll let her eat what she really wants: whatever we're eating. We have discovered she loves rice and noodles especially.
She also now has 7 teeth. 7! That's almost one per month. And I can see a little molar start to push its way out in the back, too. But because of those teeth she bites constantly. And boy does it hurt.
*sigh* My little baby is growing up, too quickly as always. At least she still likes to nurse, I will ho
ld onto that as long as I can. Why do they have to grow up so fast?
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
#9- Our Exciting Evening!
Last night we got to go to an Exhibition game at the Allen Fieldhouse to see the Jayhawks play! It was a great game; the Jayhawks won, the kids were very well behaved, there weren't any rude fans around us, and we didn't have any problems! We did have to pay an astounding amount of money to park. If it hadn't been pouring rain and dark we probably would have looked for cheaper parking but parking close sounded like a good idea. It was a great night and I'm so glad we had the opportunity to go!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)