Colored hair dye and other fun stuff.

My older girls asked me a few months ago if they could get that hair dye stuff that dyes strips of your hair pink, purple, blue, etc. I couldn't think of a good reason not to, but didn't really feel comfortable saying yes without talking to my husband, so I said I would have to think about it. I talked to him about it and said I don't really see a problem with it because:

1) I know they're not doing it to be rebellious or to look like the punk or goth crowd.
2) They think of it like hair decorations like bows or clips.
3) What's the different between me dyeing my hair brown or blond and them putting colored strips in their hair?

 

After much debate, discussion, and thought we decided not to let them do it for these reasons:

1)I Thess. 5:22 "Abstain from all appearance of evil."
Even if their reasons are innocent and pure, the whole idea of putting colored strips or portions of color in your hair was started out of rebellion in the 90's. When I see girls with colored hair strips, I think of the Punk or Goth movement from when I was a teenager. I don't want my innocent girls confused with those movements. I see the dolls from cartoons like "Monster High" and other equally disturbing shows and I have noticed that they all have colored hair strips. That right there is a red flag in my mind.



2) Romans 14:23 "And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin." The whole chapter of Romans 14 is dealing with issues that are not clear in the Bible. The Jews and Gentiles were bickering about separation standards, and basically Paul tells them that they need to worry about their own standards, and not other peoples'. Then he ends it by saying that if you doubt whether or not you should do something, don't do it. Even though technically I don't see anything wrong with them coloring their hair, I'm still doubtful, so to avoid sin or causing someone else stumble, we just won't do it.

Would it be fun to let them color their hair? Yes. Would they enjoy it? Definitely! Are they going to be missing out on this amazing experience that will hinder their growth? No. If I were to say, "We're not going to do it and that's final, no arguments", I would have to expect some rebellion and arguments. But when I explained to them my reasons and what the Bible says, they were perfectly fine with it. We do lots of girls stuff; they have full reign to paint their nails pretty much any way they want to and whenever they want to, we are always looking up different hairstyles and braids to try, and they have numerous amounts of hair bands, clips, bows, head bands, etc to choose from to their hearts delights. They are not lacking in girly and fun ways to accessorize!



As they get older and transition into the teen years I want them to be able to trust me, and trust my leadership, even when they don't understand or agree. This could be vital to guiding them through those tenuous years. You may think, "What the harm with a little fun hair coloring?" Well, probably nothing. But the hair coloring could be the minor issue, and the major issue may not be revealed for several more years. I don't know. All I know is that the Lord gives us growth and insight little steps at a time. I would like to be able to recognize those little steps before they turn into giant steps!

Involving Children in Housework

As parents, sometimes chores and housework can get overwhelming. Add to that children of any age, and it can seem impossible. But there are ways that you can encourage your children to help around the house so you’re not doing the burden of the work yourself. 

The best way to get children involved is by making a chart of chores that they can do, and either giving them a sticker for each chore that gets done, or by marking it off. You can make one yourself by listing the chores and laminating it. You can get clear contact paper at the store for a cheap and easy self-laminate. You can also find free templates and charts online through various blogs and sites. 

Finding age-appropriate chores can be tricky, but with a little common sense and trial and error, you can find chores that your little ones of all ages can do. 

Ages Toddler-4 years

At this age, the little ones want to help with whatever you’re doing. Most of the time they don’t actually “help” but you’ll want to encourage them to help while they want to. If you discourage them at this age, then later when you need and want them to help, they won’t be willing. 

Some simple chores that they can do at this age are:

-pick up dolls, trucks, toys, and put them in bins or the toybox       

-put pillows and stuffed animals on their bed

-put away silverware, plastic bowls (in bottom cabinets), or plastic cups. 

               It’s nice to have a bucket or basket in a lower cabinet with the plastic cups, bowls, and/or plates in it. Then they can also help set the table by getting their own dishes. If you’re super organized and have a separate bin for each toy, it would be best to get down on the floor and help them put each thing away. Expecting them to be able to sort the toys at this age is a huge expectation.

Ages 5 years- 8 years

               Some children in this age range will still be struggling with dexterity and fine motor skills, so you’ll want to be sensitive to those issues. But as they grow older, they will relish having new responsibilities to feel like more of a family.

Expanding the chores at this age would be:

-clean up all toys

-make bed (it may not be perfect, but covers spread over the mattress)

-wipe countertops

-clean toilet

-put away cups, bowls, plates, silverware, etc

-take plates and silverware off of the table after meals

-vacuum small areas

-clean mirrors

               You might want to invest in nicer plastic dishes, or have them take one plate at a time, but at this age they should be able to clean off the table and put clean dishes away. If you’re worried about chemicals from cleaning the bathroom, look into more natural cleaning options.

Ages 9- 12 years

               At this age you can trust them to do more intense work. It still may not be perfect, but it all goes into training them to become responsible, knowledgeable adults. 

Chores at this age:

-basic laundry

-empty and load the dishwasher

-sweep

-vacuum whole rooms

-take out trash

-clean entire bathroom

               You might want to help sort the laundry and leave more delicate clothing for you to do. Or just have them do their own laundry. But the use of washing machines and dryers, and the folding and putting away of clothes can be done at this age. You may be able to think of more chores that they can do at this age, according to the need and the ability of each individual child. 

               As you can see, you don’t have to do the bulk of chores by yourself. By assigning age-appropriate chores, you can train your children to help you around the house. It may be more difficult at first as they’re learning how to do the chores, and how you want them done, but with a little patience and persistence, you can reap the benefits of that training.

A Refuge from Anger

I've been really struggling with something, and I'm going to be straight up honest.

I have a big problem with anger.

I'm a screamer.

In the heat of the moment I'm totally justified; they've been "cleaning their room" for two hours, the table still hasn't been wiped off, I've asked four times for the hair stuff to be picked up off the bathroom floor, and countless other issues that have come up. In the moment, me screaming and yelling is perfectly logical and completely justified.

Afterward, however, I feel like a total monster. I'm mad that I was "made" to yell, I'm mad that I believed the lie that I couldn't control it, and I'm sad that my children are now crying and defeated instead of encouraged and trained.

And then, even later, I get mad when they start yelling at each other for little mishaps that in my mind seem little and silly but to them are just as huge as dishes put away incorrectly AGAIN is to me. Because it's not the actual act that triggers me, it's the fact that I am not taken seriously.

Today in church a statement was made that really hit me between the eyes. A couple sang a song from Patch the Pirate called "Lord Bless Our Home" and in the song it mentions their house being a refuge from the world. When I'm screaming or yelling, is my house a refuge? I thought of this verse,

Proverbs 29:1 "[It is] better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house."

Then that made me think of my own childhood. My friends always wanted to come to my house. My house was fun. My mom was a good cook. My house was cool! I loved being at my house! My mom would make nachos to eat while watching sports, my dad would tell corny jokes, and we were allowed to be loud and play (within reason). Even as a teenager I loved being at home, and my friends always wanted to come to our house. My mom once said she wanted her home to be the "hang out spot" because she didn't want her teenagers to be hanging out somewhere else. It was comforting to her to know where we were and what we were doing. And honestly, if a friend didn't like my mom, I didn't like that friend.

That made me think of something else (I did a lot of thinking today). Every Sunday as soon as my children come out of Junior Church they barrage me with questions of "Can she come over?" "Can I go to her house?" and it's very overwhelming. I haven't quite figured out how I want to handle all of that, so I usually just say no.

This morning I was a raging, screaming beast. I was tired, overwhelmed from a looooooong and exhausting week, and I stepped on a piece of breakfast casserole that was smooshy and really, really disgusting. I lost it. And I barely regained it before we got to church. This time when I got my children from Junior Church, they all wanted to go to someone else's house. That made me really sad. One of my daughters even said, "I don't care if I go to her house or her house, I just don't want to go to our house!" How heartbreaking is that?

So I'm going to try to make a drastic change in my life. I am going to try to make our house a refuge. Somewhere that my children want to be. And the first step to that is controlling my anger. Stop listening to the lie that they deserve it, or that they're making me angry, or that it's justified. It's not okay, it's not their fault, and it's not justified. It's sin. And it could potentially destroy my family.

Proverbs 31:26 "She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue [is] the law of kindness.
Pro 31:27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Pro 31:28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband [also], and he praiseth her.

Exciting December

We were able to go to my parents' house for two weeks in Iowa. I'm so thankful we were able to go! We had hoped to go in the Summer but it just never worked out, especially since we went to North Dakota for my Grandma's funeral in July.

Before we left I looked up the 10-day forecast to see if we should take our snow stuff or not and only one day had a "slight chance" of flurries, so we decided not to take it all. Well that was a big mistake! We got there on a Saturday and that Wednesday we were hit with a blizzard and my parents ended up getting several inches of snow. Not only that, the temperature never got above freezing the whole time we were there and it snowed two more times.

But thankfully my parents still had some snow things left over from when we were kids and since it was so cold, the kids didn't want to stay out too long anyway. Caleb went out the first day and pushed them on their sleds, and I went out the next day. We had a blast sledding, throwing snowballs, and we played snow tackle. We were exhausted by the time we went inside, though. And very grateful for the fireplace!

We weren't able to go to the zoo with my sister and her boys, but my mom did take the kids to the IMAX theater twice, and they went to the new aquarium, the jungle, desert, and the new pavilion. She has a lot of pictures of this, I just haven't gotten any copies yet! (hint, hint)

Other highlights of our trip were spending a day at my sister's house, seeing my younger brother and sister, surprising the kids with gifts on Christmas morning that they were NOT expecting, getting my hair trimmed and colored, and spending time with my parents. We had a good visit and I'm very thankful we were able to go! But it would be nice to go again this year.

Bookshelf Re-do

Today I finished a project, I sanded and then painted this bookshelf for the girls' room. I liked it best after I sanded it, but the girls wanted it painted.

This is after I sanded it.

Me painting! I look lovely.

The finished product! It's not perfect, but Kayla said it was "awesome", so I'll be happy with that!

My first project on my "30 List" is officially done! Only 29 more to go.

Fear of Homeschooling

This post in inspired by some friends of mine, but definitely not aimed at them or a rant about them. I just want to make that clear! I think this is something that most people think, but not many actually say out loud. I just wanted to further expand my thoughts on the subject.
I've been homeschooling for 3 years now and I cannot tell you how many times I've heard people say they could never do it, or they are terrified of homeschooling. It's a reasonable fear! Our society teaches us that being a teacher is a hard job, that only the best can do it, and you have to go to school for years to become certified. Don't get me wrong, I know that teachers work hard and it isn't easy. But comparing a public school teacher to a homeschool mom is a little lopsided!
First of all, when you home-school you are teaching your own children. This is what you were created to do. You teach your children all kinds of things. You taught them how to walk, how to clap their hands, how to eat with a fork, how to use the toilet, how to pick up their clothes from the floor (although most children are still perfecting that art). You didn't have a chalkboard with a syllabus and a half hour a day teaching your one year old how to walk. You just looked for times when he was interested, and you encouraged him to keep trying. Home-schooling is basically the same way. Finding moments in the day when you can get your child's attention trained on some school facts. You do this at meal times when you teach them how to chew with their mouths closed. You didn't have to get a certificate to be qualified to teach them how to make their bed. You used your own life experience.
When you home-school you do not have to make up your own curricula, lesson plans, and research topics to teach your children. You can buy complete curriculum sets that literally tell you what to say, what to read, what to have your child do, and what you will need for the next day. You can be as involved or uninvolved in planning the school as you want. We use a rather involved curriculum and I don't have any prep work besides making sure they have basic school supplies. Any questions they have are addressed in the Teacher's Manuals. And by the way, "real" school teachers have those manuals as well. Most teachers do not make up their own school work to teach.
The biggest struggle for most home-school moms is not WHAT to teach, or HOW to teach it, but WHEN to teach it. When you're home and you see dishes in the sink, projects that need done, a nice day outside, or family that needs help, it's very hard to make yourself sit down and do school. And frankly, sometimes you just want to mess around on the computer or read a book. The beauty of home-school is that you can do that sometimes, but it really can be a struggle to actually get school work done. Some do better with a classroom setting, some like their kids in a central part of the house so they can do housework around them, some like to use library rooms for the majority of the work, and some incorporate the outside and different activities into school. And you know what? All of those things work! Because it's home-school, it's not public school. You don't have to sit at a desk from 8:30-3pm working on work. You can do a few hours in the morning, and some in the afternoon. You can take Mondays off. You can work in the evenings.
Home-schooling is a little frightening. It's different, there's a lot to sort through to find what works for you, and there are a lot of opinions on the subject. But the fear of not knowing enough, or not being able to teach your kids the right things should not be a fear. I read somewhere that 80% of 4th graders polled in the public schools could not recognize Abraham Lincoln. I've read that as many as 15% of High School graduates (not just Public School, but all types of schools) cannot read past a 2nd grade level. I'm not trying to speak bad about other types of schooling because every family has to decide what is right for their children. But what I am trying to say is that you can't do much worse than that! Especially if you have the help of a curricula that will help you teach your children what they need to know.
Don't be afraid, you won't be alone.

Food Coloring and the amazing turn around.

Wow, I haven't blogged in a while! It's been a little busy around here I guess.

I noticed something during church yesterday, and someone else pointed out the same thing to me. We were told by two different people that our kids are well-behaved during church and one of the commenters said that she can't believe the difference between a year ago and now, especially with Noah.
This made me think back to a year ago and I tried to remember what church services were like then. I was pregnant and about to pop with Elsa, Anna was 1 1/2, and now that I remember, I didn't get to hear much of a message.
I remembered that I used to have to sit next to Noah either holding his hand, rubbing his back, or with my hand on his knee or he would be bouncing, sniffing, doodling, twirling his fingers, or some other nervous habit. Also, Kayla and Lela would often be fidgety and at least one of them would have to be taken out at least once during a single service.
But yesterday it was not so! Noah sat with his Bible and notebook taking notes and only being distracted a few times by noisy children. Kayla and Lela were not as fidgety, although they are still just kids. Kayla even tried to read her Bible along with the Preacher. Anna was....a 2 year old, and Elsa slept.
But I was amazed that I could also see such a difference! I guess the change was so gradual that I didn't notice. What do I attribute to this amazing change? I will definitely credit the absence of artificial food coloring.
Last year around April we cut out artificial food coloring and while we didn't really notice a difference without it, we really noticed a difference when they had some! It was remarkable.
I would suggest every parent research the affects of AFC in children. red40 causes attention problems, and yellow5 and 6 contribute to asthma problems. I'm not a doctor and I'm not a scientist, but I am a mom and I can tell you 100% that cutting out food coloring has helped our family drastically!
AFC is mostly found in things kids shouldn't eat anyway; candy, fruit snacks, "juice", sodas, and a lot of pre-packaged foods. Other weird things they're in is pickles (except the Claussen kind), Pillsbury doughs, chips, jelly, and some other things. If you want to cut out AFC just go through everything you have in your cupboard, or pick up to buy, and check the label. They're usually at the end of the ingredients list and if it's a color+a number, it's bad. You'll eventually know what things have it and what don't, and you can easily avoid it.
If our children are given candy with AFC, we exchange it for chocolate. We buy fruit instead of fruit snacks. We get chips that don't have AFC, we spend a little more for Claussens but eat pickles less. It's not hard to make the no-AFC switch, and I can tell you from personal experience, if your children have issues with asthma or hyper-activity, it will be worth it!